Cam Clarke is a universal constant

Hello I am Byrd. I don't know what I'm doing.

what time is it? random headcanon time again! this time davesprite edition

i like to think that davesprite develops an oral fixation over time, that eventually gets fairly strong. see, we humans learn about things not just by looking at them, but by touching them. textures and shapes, grooves and ridges, buttons and knobs and things. as infants, we didn’t have a lot of control over our hands. sure, we could grip, but we didnt have the fine motor skills to poke or prod or carefully run our fingers across things or pinch or twist. but we could control our mouths, our lips and tongue, very well. additionally, the lips are actually more sensitive than the tips of our fingers. so, we stuck stuff in our mouths in order to learn about it, a job relegated to our hands as we got older.

davesprite, though, i’m one of the many people who headcanon him as having his arms and hands covered in hard, thick, scale-like things called scutes (what covers bird feet and turtle shells) along with long, curved talons. and have you seen the undersides of birdfeet? imagine if your fingerprints were much more visibly upraised, with deep grooves in between them, and are kinda scratchy and rough. with this headcanon, im pretty sure davesprite would experience a loss in tactile sensitivity in his hands and fingertips

[art not mine, but the askblog this was from has unfortunately been deleted :(]

and so, over time he starts automatically mouthing at things, to explore them in place of his hands. he doesnt really realize he does it, as its just something he does without thinking, and he starts doing it more and more often. sticking the handle end of a spatula in his mouth while hes cooking in the prospit ship kitchen. mouthing at a videogame controller during cutscenes. putting pens and pencils in his mouth when hes thinking. etc.

now just picture john and jade having to put up with this. john going to play a game after davesprite and grimacing becaseu the controller is slightly slimy. the both of them sometimes having to remind him “davesprite, dont put that in your mouth, you dont know where its been.”

[NSFW below, putting a cut tho its just a paragraph]

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tasteful-side-blog:

maybe i should make an Veteranstuck AU thats actually ya know

good

like i dunno maybe its different for kids who grew up learning about the military from action movies as opposed to actually having a parent that served but can we please not romanticize PTSD? If youre gonna go down that road at least know a little more about the subject other than ‘oh well its nightmares sometimes’. 

Even stuff like prosthetics and getting veteran disability could be handled better, lets talk about the months and months of paperwork it takes before the VA even considers you for disability and blah blah blah im rambling  

#i just wanna like make one as an example #like THIS is how you write that stuff #not sayin im perfect or anything #but if youre using a serious topic at least try to know a little about it

keeping the tags bc ye
i feel this pretty strong, as someone who grew up with a dad who was in the navy with ptsd and anger issues who has only just started getting therapy for it 20+ years later. my dad used to use me as his therapist instead and even told me he did because he felt like hed be weak if he went to a real therapist. and the things hes told me will stick with me froever. his episodes where hed be crying and screaming at 1 am and i could hear it from my room and hear my step mom yelling to put the gun away and to stop pointing it at himself keeps me up sometimes. it was a simple fact of my life that my dad simply could not sit in a restaurant unless he was facing the door.
hes doing a lot better lately and he started working at the VA in Portland, OR himself several years ago as a nurse after quitting his job as a EMT at a regular hospital.
my dads issues after being in the military has had a huge effect on his life, my moms life, my step mom life, and especially my life. its more than just nightmares soemtimes. it affects that persons entire life and everything in how they interact with others and the world around them and even themselves
just treat it with some respect, people, damn

“Man I just jammed my finger so far into my ear that I got a bit of suction going.”

—   My best friend Joey, tumblr user transmista
biggaynerdlord:

i don’t normally do anything like this, but i think that i need to bring this to the attention of everyone that’s had an issue with sollux’s of late.
this is the sollux that i’ve had connect to me, ask for nudes, and admit that he was underage [tho he’d also said his bday was the 11th of this month, but i feel like that’s a lie]
all that i’m saying here is that if you have a sollux connect to you that writes a bit like this, or asks for older female characters or anything like that, it may be in your best interest to just DC. This kid is literally just looking for fap material.
that’s all that i’ve really got to say i suppose. it’s more just a heads up than anything else.

this is the sollux that talks like butthead from beavis and butthead

biggaynerdlord:

i don’t normally do anything like this, but i think that i need to bring this to the attention of everyone that’s had an issue with sollux’s of late.

this is the sollux that i’ve had connect to me, ask for nudes, and admit that he was underage [tho he’d also said his bday was the 11th of this month, but i feel like that’s a lie]

all that i’m saying here is that if you have a sollux connect to you that writes a bit like this, or asks for older female characters or anything like that, it may be in your best interest to just DC. This kid is literally just looking for fap material.

that’s all that i’ve really got to say i suppose. it’s more just a heads up than anything else.

this is the sollux that talks like butthead from beavis and butthead

do you ever imagine sollux sounding like butthead from beavis and butthead when he talks

because sometimes i do

i headcanon davesprite as having a harsher, more hoarse voice than regular dave. like if dave had throat issues. its bc of the crow part and crows are croaky.

rpingthehomestucks:

Oooh, we gonna talk headcanons??

past tense. we are talking about headcanons. it is too late to stop the headcanons. it is time to post yours.

oh! oh! i got another one. what if john is addicted to those Papa’s (food)eria flash games? the ones where you have to manage details of food orders and also time management. and then his friends have to hold an intervention after he plays Papa’s Hotdoggeria for 10 straight days only stopping to eat and sleep.

ok but for real tho listen to this: dirk and roxy being lactose and/or gluten intolerant. dirks diet consists of fish and soda. roxys diet consists of pumpkins and maybe fish dirk sends her. they have never had a dairy or a gluten in their entire lives

and then while theyre in the medium, jane gives them cupcakes…

srooky-cherub-things:

Can we not start actually turning this into an actual argument. Calm your shit and if people want to headcanon people as black with blonde hair let them. Jesus.

thats what weve been saying tho!!! sylph was talking about ppl that argue u cant have blond black strilondes. and then we talked about real blond black ppl, and then we talked about mixed race headcanons and were just trying to have fun and ppl have been shouting us down and its really rude.